wedding planning Archives - Marriage Notary and Wedding Officiant

Importance of a Wedding Day of Coordinator

For a small intimate wedding or elopement you really don’t need a wedding planner or coordinator. But…once you start planning on a wedding procession, having a photographer, a DJ, catering, flowers, etc. you absolutely have to have a wedding planner or day of coordinator.

The Wedding Planner

From wikipedia, “a wedding planner is a professional who assists with the design, planning and management of a client’s wedding. Weddings are significant events in people’s lives and as such, couples are often willing to spend considerable amount of money to ensure that their weddings are well-organized. Wedding planners are often used by couples who work long hours and have little spare time available for sourcing and managing wedding venues and wedding suppliers.”

For a very large wedding with a big budget a wedding planner is almost a necessity. They can help with budgeting, hiring the necessary vendors, planning the procession, and ensuring that the 1,000 little details of a big wedding all come together.

The Wedding Coordinator

The Day of Coordinator is just that. You provide them a list of all your vendors and details about how you want your wedding day and ceremony to progress. Many venues provide a day of coordinator as part of their services, either included in the facility fee or as an add on. Many day of coordinators will attend the rehearsal if you have one, particularly if you are having the rehearsal at the same venue as the wedding. Keep in mind that the coordinator is only going to be as good as the information and resources you provide him or her. You (if you planned your own wedding) are responsible for organizing and paying the vendors, that they arrive on time, and that their performance is as promised. The day of coordinator only coordinates.

Why You Need at least a Day of Coordinator

You really need at least a Day of Coordinator. Not someone that is in the wedding procession, not the photographer, and not the caterer. You need a person to act as a buffer for you, to make sure that everyone is arriving on time and that they know what is expected. Someone who can herd the wedding procession into order, make sure the flowers are arranged properly, the candles are lit, the flower girl has petals, the runner is laid down, the officiant is there and is prepared, etc, etc. You as the bride cannot do this. You are going to be too busy getting ready for your wedding; the dress, hair, makeup, etc. Your stress level as a Bride is already going to be high. Don’t become a bridezilla and ruin your special day.

Wedding Day Essential Photo Shot List

Your wedding day is a special day! You should make sure to get as many photos as possible to remember it by. A great way to insure you get those special photographs is to hire a professional photographer to take them for you. But whether you hire a photographer, or have a family member or guest take your photographs, you need a plan! You need a wedding day essential photo shot list. So many essential photos can get overlooked in the hustle and bustle of a wedding day. Here is a list of the most essential wedding photos you need to take if you can. Remember, this is the bare essentials.

Wedding Day Essential Photo Shot List

Pre-Wedding Ceremony

Bride with individual Bridesmaids
Bride with all Bridesmaids
Bride alone, close-up, waist up, 3/4, full length front and back
Groom with individual Groomsmen
Groom with all Groomsmen
Groom alone, close-up, waist up, ¾,full length front and back

Ceremony

Guestbook attendants
Program attendants
Groomsmen with minister in minutes before
Grandparents seated
Parent Seated
Grooms party enters
Bridal party down the aisle
Flower girls and ring bearers
Bride down the aisle
Groom’s reaction to bride (this has become a HUGE ordeal in the past years)
Standard Ceremony items: readings, prayers, unity candle/sand, rings, vows
THE KISS!
Pronouncement of Marriage
Recessional

Family Portraits

bride and groom with bride’s parents
bride and groom with bride’s parents and siblings, in-laws, grandparents
bride and groom with both families
bride and groom with both sets of parents
bride and groom with groom’s parents bride and groom with groom’s parents and siblings, in-laws, grandparents

Couple

20+ creative shots of the couple in a variety of poses, smiling, kissing, in action, sexy poses, making sure to get a variety of styles, locations and crops, full length, scenic, close up, 3/4 etc.

Your Wedding and the Coronavirus

7 Steps to Protect Your Wedding from the COVID-19 Virus

A hot topic in the news today is the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. In regards to your wedding ceremony, yes, you should be concerned. That doesn’t mean you should cancel your wedding, only that you should take adequate precautions against infection How to go about that? Eric Hunt a wedding officiant in Myrtle Beach, SC has a great post on his blog about this very subject.

“The Coronavirus (COVID-19), has certainly caused a lot of disruption all over the world in recent weeks and for couples whose wedding day is near it can definitely add a new level to pre-wedding stress. While we should all be taking precautions and use good ole’ common sense (WASH YOUR HANDS) when it comes to these types of threats, the Coronavirus does not have to be the end to your perfect wedding day. Below, I have compiled a few thoughts and ideas as this virus relates to the wedding day. ”

Eric follows up with 7 steps you can take to protect you and your guests from contracting COVID-19. You should definitely check out the complete article.

Read and enjoy. You can read his post here.

Christmas is the Season to: Get Engaged

So you are going to get married

Christmas Day is usually the number one day of the year for couples to get engaged (followed by Valentine’s Day and Christmas Eve) according to Wedding Wire. The next big step after getting engaged is planning the wedding and the first step in that regard is when and how much?

The Knot does an annual wedding-cost survey and last year, the average cost of a wedding was $33,391. And that does NOT include the honeymoon.

How much should YOU spend on your wedding? The Washington Post just today published a great article on just this subject. Their advice? Do what you can afford.

Check out the article at the Washington Post for some great advice on how much to spend on your wedding.

My advice? Do not spend more than $5000. You can have a memorable wedding on that budget and I have officiated many wonderful weddings that cost even less than that.

Tips on Writing Your Own Marriage Vows

Should you write your own wedding vows?

Your wedding is coming up. You have to decide on your vows. Should you write your own vows? Or let your wedding officiant use traditional ones? It’s sometimes not an easy question to answer.

Traditional Vows?

While there are a number of variations, the most commonly known traditional vow is: “I, ______, take thee, ______, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.” The officiant reads one line at a time, and the soon-to-be-weds repeat said line in order to affirm their commitment to one another. If you choose to recite traditional vows, your officiant can help you select the set that is most appropriate and meaningful to both you and your partner.Some couples opt to write their own vows in order to personalize their ceremony further. Writing personalized vows is a way to proclaim your love for one another in your own words.

Writing Your Own Vows

Thinking of adding your own personal touch? Here are some quick and easy tips:
1. Let your officiant help you
Some religions still require both parties to recite a portion of traditional vows. Speak with your officiant to work out any necessary details so the ceremony goes seamlessly.
2. Research online and see what others have used
Think back to wedding you’ve been to and listen closely at the ones you’re attending this season. And if you haven’t been to many weddings, search online for videos and transcripts. A little inspiration can go a long way!
3. Talk with each other about your relationship
Write down bullet points about your fiancé, the first time you met, when you knew you were in love, and exactly why you are getting married. These notes will help you form complete thoughts as well as large points you want to highlight in your vows.
4. Decide on some promises.
You can combine broad promises along with more specific ones. Mix it up but ensure all your promises are true to you and your partner’s relationship.
5. Be sure to write it out
Writing a rough draft that you edit numerous times will usually produce the best results. Some couples wait until the day of and scrawl their vows out while they are getting ready. Writing beforehand can ensure cohesive thoughts, allow you to edit the areas that are not perfect and to practice.
One aspect couples often overlook is the presentation of their vows. You should write your final copy on a neat piece of paper or some type of stationary that matches your wedding theme. In photos of the vow exchange you will see whatever the vows are written on so having a crumpled piece of paper will appear disheveled.
DO NOT use your phone. Besides all of the mishaps that occur using your cellphone (screen going dark, having to thumb down the page, phone vibrating) it’s just plain tacky and shows a lack of preparation.
6. Keep your vows to one or two minutes at most
If your vows are longer than two minutes, consider editing them down. Focus on the major promises you want to make in front of your nearest and dearest. You can also write your partner a sweet note to read the morning of the wedding, or give a toast during the reception.
7. Practice, Practice, Practice!!!
Practicing your vows out loud will allow you to catch run on sentences and tongue twisters. If you hear any, rewrite them. The tone you speak with should be heartfelt but conversational. It should not sound as if you are giving a speech. And you’ll be more comfortable speaking towards your significant other and all your guests the day of if you practiced beforehand.
Choosing to write your own vows is part of the day you will remember forever. It is a significant task to write your vows and recite them with family and friends intently watching. Some people become overwhelmed with emotion and are unable to share their vows. Have a back up plan in case this happens. Perhaps, the officiant can even read the vows for you if you can’t. Be calm and remember that everyone in attendance is there to support you and your new beginning!

Wedding Unity Sand Ceremony

Unity Sand Ceremony

Traditionally, weddings in the past have been a pretty standardized affair. Because of movies and television most people could summarize the ceremony from memory. In recent times however, weddings have become more personalized, with couples adding or subtracting components to the ceremony to suit their personal preferences.

One example of a modern wedding innovation is the Unity Sand Ceremony. Like the unity candle which many people are familiar with, the sand ceremony ads a personal, non-traditional touch to a wedding ceremony. It is a symbolic, poignant moment during the ceremony where a couple visually demonstrate their joining as a couple.

The sand ceremony has quickly gained in popularity for several good reasons. It’s rather simple. It is visually appealing. And it is an easily modified ritual that contributes a bit of worldliness and also leaves the newlyweds with a meaningful souvenir of their big day.

One big added benefit is that, unlike the unity candle, this wedding ceremony isn’t complicated by a light breeze. I can’t tell you how many times I have had unity candles blown out by the wind during outside wedding ceremonies. Unity sand ceremonies can be used outdoors with no problem at all.

Following below is one example of a sand ceremony.

Example Sand Ceremony

GROOM and BRIDE you have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings and this is a pledge between two people who agree that they will commit themselves to one another throughout their lives.

Today, this relationship is also symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand. One, representing you, GROOM and One Representing you BRIDE and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.

As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.

Just as these grains of sand can never be separated, our prayer for you today is that your lives together would be blended like the seven seas and may your love swirl around each other like the changing tides.

Having a Big Wedding? 6 Wedding Bills You Should Always Use a Credit Card to Pay

6 Wedding Bills You Should Always Charge on a Credit Card

If you are having a large wedding you are certainly going to incur some big charges. A good way to pay those bills is by using a credit card. Not so much to defer the costs, but to protect yourself if the items are defective or deficient in any way. A good article concerning what wedding costs you should charge can be found here.

The article discusses 6 items you should always charge. They are;

Deposits
Wedding Planner Fees
Day of services
Wedding Dress
Anything bought online
Travel Expenses

For a more in depth discussion take a look at the article.

What is a Certified Copy of a Marriage License

What is a certified copy of your marriage license and do you need one?

A certified copy of your marriage license is a copy of the Court’s license on record. It may be necessary to show a certified copy to the appropriate entities for a legal name change, for other legitimate purposes, or for genealogical research. A certified copy does not expire. Certified copies of your marriage license cannot be obtained until your license has been filed and accepted by the County Probate Court where you obtained your license. If you would like to request a certified copy of your marriage license from the County Probate Court, you have to complete a form and pay a fee, usually $5.

In South Carolina, when you get married you are given 3 originals of your marriage license. All have the court seal imprinted on them so they are originals. You are given one copy to keep and this original is usually sufficient for all your needs. However, if you have to send your marriage license off somewhere out of your possession, you should get a certified copy. You do not want your original to get lost.

You will usually need to wait one to two weeks to get a certified copy after your wedding, but it might take longer. Your wedding officiant has 15 days to send the other two completed copies of your marriage license back to the court for filing. It then takes the court a few days to actually file the license.

Remember, you are not married until you exchange vows (oaths) and the marriage licensed is signed by all parties and returned to the court.

Here are some links to the various courts to download the form you need to fill out to get a certified copy of your marriage certificate.

Richland County SC

Lexington County SC

Dressing Your Wedding Guests

When Jennifer began to plan her wedding, she ran into one novel problem: how to dress her wedding guests.

Normally, this isn’t a problem. By tradition, a wedding is a formal event where guests are expected to show up either in tuxedos and gowns if part of the wedding party, or in suits and formal dresses if an invited guest.

The details of proper attire for the guests is left entirely to the guests themselves. Most people already know what they should wear to a wedding, or if not, they at least have enough sense to ask a mother or sister who will be delighted to explain exactly what they should and
should not wear.

Now and then you find a poor schmuck with a sister who has a vindictive streak and you get a wedding guest who arrives wearing a plaid jacket, red and green striped tie and a yellow beanie with a propeller on top. Mostly your guests are well behaved and arrive appropriately dressed, sober and with the suitable amount of discomfort required of all wedding guests everywhere.

Jennifer’s wedding was going to be a little different. She (and her fiance of course) had decided to have a casual dress wedding at a country club overlooking the beach. The bride’s dress was still planned as a formal gown, but the bridesmaids would wear sun dresses and the best man and groom would wear khaki slacks and summer jackets.

Jennifer wanted her guests to know that they were encouraged to wear casual clothes. She wanted the ladies to come in summer dresses or skirts with nice blouses and the men to come wearing sport shirts and slacks with a jacket. The total effect was going to be a casual, country club style atmosphere.

Jennifer wanted to say this in a nice way, without having to include a lengthy and offensive dress code decree in her invitation package. There is nothing quite so objectionable as having someone tell you in specific and didactic detail how you are supposed to dress. Jennifer was very much aware of this potential etiquette land mine and wanted wholeheartedly to avoid it.

On the other hand, she couldn’t just leave it to chance and simply say “casual attire” because sure as tank tops, someone would construe casual to mean T shirts, shorts and sneakers.

Jennifer fretted about this for days, trying several versions of her dress code message, none of which satisfied all the conflicting requirements of brevity, inoffensiveness and clarity.

Jennifer hit upon the solution: a short, humorous poem, printed on an index sized card along with the invitation.

This would immediately let people know exactly how to dress and would offend no one. Since the poem would also be humorous, it had the benefit of being entertaining and therefore easily remembered.

Jennifer overcame the last hurdle of being unable to write poetry by hiring a poet and working with him through four drafts until she had exactly what she wanted: eight lines of lighthearted verse which told the guests how they should dress and left them with a smile.

With a sigh of relief, Jennifer could now focus on the next problem which needed her attention: the weather …

Wedding Planner

Hiring a Wedding Event Manager or Planner

There are pros and cons to hiring a wedding planner. One thing, it costs money, and for something that can be as expensive as a wedding, extra costs matter. But will it really cost you? One thing a wedding planner can do is save you money. Usually more than their fee if you are having a very large event. They know who can do the best job, what the current rates are for various services, and can negotiate on your behalf. Plus, they can advise you on the little extra that you might like to have but that really in the end are not worth it.

For a good article on the pros and cons of hiring a wedding planner, I suggest you read this article.